Her name is Joanie....

One might call her a grumpy old lady. One might think her rude or crass. She says it like it is, sometimes stirring the pot. Sometimes she is right and sometimes she was a pain in the behind. Some people think she is a “grouch,” and often she might act like that. There was, however, something about this “old lady” accounts payable clerk that I liked then and still do. Deep inside her old, weathered body was a huge heart, wanting to love and wanting to be loved.

Her name is Joanie and she worked in the accounts payable office, across from the hospital finance department, where I worked. When I first met her, I was a recent college graduate who came to work on her floor. She is a retired U.S. Army Sergeant. While she has an abrasive demeanor, she is one of the kindest people I know. She retired a couple of years after I came to work there and it wasn’t until then that I really got to know her. She has been retired for over ten years now. During this time, our relationship has grown far beyond that of two coworkers. In this time, I have come to know her as a friend. She is like a friend, mother, and grandmother all rolled into one.

About a month after she retired, I decided to give her a telephone call to see how she was doing. I knew that she did not have any family – her husband has been deceased for over twenty years. Until this time, I only knew her in the work environment – we had never talked outside of work. One Friday night, I gave her a call. Since then, only few days have passed when we did not talk. Our friendship has flexed through the years. While before I had children, I had much more time. I would often visit her a few nights a week. Upon the births of my sons, my time has been more limited. All the while, I have always checked in with Joanie, and I take the boys to visit when we can. We talk almost daily. Joanie has become part of my family, and she has also formed relationships with my family members as well. She has not only “adopted” me as her granddaughter, she has done the same for my sisters too. Additionally, her and my mom became friends. Every few months my mom takes her to her doctor appointments in the city. We have been kind to her, and she has been kind to all of us.

While she is up in her years, I cherish the time we have. I look forward to our talks each day, and I look back on our conversations of the past. Though she never had children of her own, she exudes motherly instincts. She is insightful, loving, sensible, and thoughtful. Over the years she has given me valuable advice. She has been my crutch. She has always been someone in which I could confide. She listens – never judging. She however will speak her mind, when she feels necessary. Even when some days get crazy, I will call her at 11:00 pm just to say hi! She loves that. She is 84, but she’s current on the times. She’s a Red Sox fan and a Celtics fan. She always knows the scores. She is funny, but most of all, she has a heart of gold.

Last year when I started caring for Thomas, I told Joanie that I was nervous that I would not wake up in time to be ready for his arrival. She put me at ease and told me that she would give me a wake-up call. She has done just that every day since then. She is my alarm clock – ringing at 6:15 am each morning. I now realize this act is reciprocal. I am awakened on time (though I could really just set my alarm!) and it gives her a daily purpose. In the event that she does not call me, she is rest assured that I will call her to make sure that she’s okay. Though she has never actually said this to me, I know she is comforted by the thought of it. In fact, there have been a few days when she has not called and I have called her. I call it her “well being check,” and she chuckles.

I am so happy I gave her a call that Friday night. I can’t begin to imagine how much I may have missed had I not known her outside of work. I feel blessed that I have had Joanie as a friend. The biggest lesson I have learned from Joanie is one of which she is not aware. I learned to not judge someone on the surface. Many other people that know Joanie do not know her in the same way that I do. They may think of her as a grouchy old woman. I am fortunate to know her as so much more. I know her heart, and her heart has opened to me.