A letter to a hoarder....

Dear Mrs X,

You said yesterday that I am "nasty, sassy, pushy, and just not nice". I am sorry that you feel this way. You mentioned the other day that this world was an awful place - that people aren't nice to one another and do not help each other. I told you that I do not agree. I do not believe everyone is bad. I like to think that I am a kind and caring, person. You replied, "sometimes you are and and sometimes you aren't." Your statements trouble me for many reasons.

Last summer when you fell and needed hospitalization, I met you in the emergency room. The next day, I bought you a new nightgown, bathrobe, and pajamas, as I felt badly that you didn't have any of your own things. While you were in the hospital, John and I continued to visit you. In fact, I repeatedly got babysitters to mind my children so that I could visit you. Additionally, John and I helped you to deal with your biggest problem - the condition of your house.

Although we have been your neighbors for ten years, you never let us see the inside of your home. We knew why, upon seeing the state of your home, when you went to the hospital. When the emergency people responded to your medical call, they saw the inside of your house. The state of your home was "unfit for human habitation". That is what the Board of Health determined after responding to your home. They condemned it until it was brought up to the health code. While I can't imagine how hard this situation was for you, John and I helped to do everything to get your house back in order. You entrusted us to do this, and in no way did we fall short. You see, when the hot summer temperatures were in the 90's we were inside of your house broiling, while trying to salvage the things that you requested. You may have forgotten, and that's probably better if you did, but there was only one narrow path trough your house. Piles of stuff fell every which way when we attempted to walk around inside. There were no clean or uncluttered surfaces. The odor was atrocious, and the filth was indescribable. Though, my anxiety level soared out of control every time I entered your house, I did not let it stop me from doing the things that needed to be done. We both stayed true to our promise to you.

During the months you were in rehab, John and I continued to visit you. We sacrificed our family time because it was the right thing to do. We took care of things that you asked us to do. John spent countless hours making phone calls, getting quotes for the work that need to be done on your house, and clearing out stuff that should be saved. All the while, the boys and I, were here. It was a very trying time for all of us. On the night of our 10th wedding anniversary, we were taking care of things for you in your house.

Through out this whole ordeal, your primary goal was to come home to your house. First and foremost, you needed to be strong enough and in the end, you were. Secondly, your house needed to be fit for human living. While it was up to you to regain your strength and get well, you left it up to us to make your home suitable for human existence. We did just that, but this was only achieved through hard work and compassion.

You arrived home and we spent time with you. In the weeks and months after you returned, I always asked if you needed items at the grocery store. In the beginning, you seemed appreciative. As the months passed you were more demanding and things were never good enough. I bought you the wrong items, I didn't go to the right store, and better yet, I don't pay attention. These are all things of which you accused me. Though you did not act gracious, I continued to call you. I tried to make pleasant conversations, but instead you continued to complain. You consistently talked so negatively.

In spite of the things you said to me yesterday, I will still call you. I will still reach out to you, as that is the Christian thing to do. I refuse to let you sour my view of elderly people, as I know this has nothing to do with growing old. I do feel badly that you have no family. I have forgiven you. While not only did you put yourself in danger by your way of living, you endangered you neighbors as well. Thankfully, the pests are now gone and your house is no longer a fire trap.

When no one else seemed to care about you, we did. I would not want my worst enemy to live in the kind of conditions, in which you were living. I am not sorry for anything I said the other day. I know we did the right thing to help you in the beginning, and our positive actions have continued. I did not cause your problems, though you blame things on me. You and your obsessive hoarding behavior have been your demise. I am sorry you can not see this.

Warm regards,

Amy


NOTE: Of course, I will never send this letter, though I wish I could. Mrs. X is an elderly woman, and I do not want to upset her.