Monday, April 14, 2008

Her name is Joanie....

One might call her a grumpy old lady. One might think her rude or crass. She says it like it is, sometimes stirring the pot. Sometimes she is right and sometimes she was a pain in the behind. Some people think she is a “grouch,” and often she might act like that. There was, however, something about this “old lady” accounts payable clerk that I liked then and still do. Deep inside her old, weathered body was a huge heart, wanting to love and wanting to be loved.

Her name is Joanie and she worked in the accounts payable office, across from the hospital finance department, where I worked. When I first met her, I was a recent college graduate who came to work on her floor. She is a retired U.S. Army Sergeant. While she has an abrasive demeanor, she is one of the kindest people I know. She retired a couple of years after I came to work there and it wasn’t until then that I really got to know her. She has been retired for over ten years now. During this time, our relationship has grown far beyond that of two coworkers. In this time, I have come to know her as a friend. She is like a friend, mother, and grandmother all rolled into one.

About a month after she retired, I decided to give her a telephone call to see how she was doing. I knew that she did not have any family – her husband has been deceased for over twenty years. Until this time, I only knew her in the work environment – we had never talked outside of work. One Friday night, I gave her a call. Since then, only few days have passed when we did not talk. Our friendship has flexed through the years. While before I had children, I had much more time. I would often visit her a few nights a week. Upon the births of my sons, my time has been more limited. All the while, I have always checked in with Joanie, and I take the boys to visit when we can. We talk almost daily. Joanie has become part of my family, and she has also formed relationships with my family members as well. She has not only “adopted” me as her granddaughter, she has done the same for my sisters too. Additionally, her and my mom became friends. Every few months my mom takes her to her doctor appointments in the city. We have been kind to her, and she has been kind to all of us.

While she is up in her years, I cherish the time we have. I look forward to our talks each day, and I look back on our conversations of the past. Though she never had children of her own, she exudes motherly instincts. She is insightful, loving, sensible, and thoughtful. Over the years she has given me valuable advice. She has been my crutch. She has always been someone in which I could confide. She listens – never judging. She however will speak her mind, when she feels necessary. Even when some days get crazy, I will call her at 11:00 pm just to say hi! She loves that. She is 84, but she’s current on the times. She’s a Red Sox fan and a Celtics fan. She always knows the scores. She is funny, but most of all, she has a heart of gold.

Last year when I started caring for Thomas, I told Joanie that I was nervous that I would not wake up in time to be ready for his arrival. She put me at ease and told me that she would give me a wake-up call. She has done just that every day since then. She is my alarm clock – ringing at 6:15 am each morning. I now realize this act is reciprocal. I am awakened on time (though I could really just set my alarm!) and it gives her a daily purpose. In the event that she does not call me, she is rest assured that I will call her to make sure that she’s okay. Though she has never actually said this to me, I know she is comforted by the thought of it. In fact, there have been a few days when she has not called and I have called her. I call it her “well being check,” and she chuckles.

I am so happy I gave her a call that Friday night. I can’t begin to imagine how much I may have missed had I not known her outside of work. I feel blessed that I have had Joanie as a friend. The biggest lesson I have learned from Joanie is one of which she is not aware. I learned to not judge someone on the surface. Many other people that know Joanie do not know her in the same way that I do. They may think of her as a grouchy old woman. I am fortunate to know her as so much more. I know her heart, and her heart has opened to me.

35 comments:

Michelle Leigh said...

What a sweet story Amy. You must have known deep down inside that night you called her that she would be an important part of your life. How lucky for you both to have found each other. Thanks so much for sharing, it was inspiring.

Mary said...

What a great post about her Amy!
I use to love randomly stopping at her house with Mom before I got married and moved to East Osh Gosh.
You could always say anything you want in her house :)

Will you write about the Alvinator too?

KG said...

Aww.

I think I'm going to be the grouchy old woman . . . but without any redeeming qualities!

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

Thanks for this story. It is beautiful and heart-felt and inspiring. Inspiring to give people a chance and to work harder at our friendships. Inspiring how one tiny seemingly insignificant event can change our lives.

KEEP BELIEVING

Misty said...

This is priceless.... Does she read your blog? If not, I'd send this to her in the mail... I bet she would be as touched as I am....

Are You Serious! said...

♥ What a wonderful relationship you guys have and I love how it's spread on to your mom & sisters!!!

Mari said...

Amy - this is such a heartwarming story. It's wonderful that your Mom and sisters have joined you in caring about her. This is the kind of story books are written about!

Mom said...

What a wonderful friendship to have, thanks for sharing with us!

Jaime Cox said...

Yeah, you are making me feel like crap. I just need to get there...

That's a really nice relationship that the 2 of you have.

And I LOVE people that seem all rough and tough on the outside and have a HUGE heart on the inside!!

kim-d said...

Awww, Amy JEAN Kelly--from the first time I visited your blog, and also those of your sisters, I knew I wanted to come back and get to know the three of you. I didn't know why exactly but I just knew I did. This post? This is part of the reason why; I see that now. I love that you took the time to go beyond the surface with Joanie, and that your relationship has grown and expanded to include family members. I hope that I will be fortunate enough to have good friends like that throughout the remainder of my life!

Robyn said...

What a beautiful tribute. I had a woman at work, who was far from grouchy, that I pretty much considered my second mom. I was devastated when she passed. I wish I had said to her something like this post!

CC said...

This is such an awesome post! I wish I had a friendship that close!

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

Each of us needs to be needed and wanted. Thank you for making me stop and think about something this evening.

Great post, Amy!

Angela said...

So rare a friendship.
Such a wonderful story

Family Adventure said...

Isn't it amazing how one impulse call led to this? I loved this post, Amy. Thank you for sharing!

Heidi :)

Happy Days said...

Amy,
Very well written! So true! I am feeling guilty for not being the friend that I should!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

This is so well written.

Thanks for sharing!

Hallie

(contest over my way!)

jessica said...

isn't it great the way people come back into our lives... this is so touching!

Laski said...

While others might have turned away from her, you embraced her for who she was and in return, you found a gold mine.

What a great story!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Children are NOT animals!!!

And with that attitude, I wouldn't be waiting for your MOTHER OF THE YEAR AWARD to show up!!

Hallie :)

T. said...

That is such a sweet story/lesson. I have tears in my eyes. I think I will make time to reach out to someone today.

P.S. I moved up the drawing for the free t-shirt from May 31st to April 30th. I don't know what the heck I was thinking when I wrote May 31st. :-) You are entered. Thanks for stopping by! Trish

Kellan said...

Oh, Amy, what a sweet story. I am so glad you called her too - what a blessing you have been to each other's lives - what a blessing! I loved this story!

Take care - Kellan

Kristi @ Mi Vida Ocupada said...

Great story, Amy!

Janice {Run Far} said...

awwwww, sweet story-

Boston Baby, 6 days...

tricki_nicki said...

That is the sweetest story! It made me think of my friend who has since passed. I learned so much from her - mostly that even though we get old we still have value.

Thanks for sharing.

just jamie said...

Oh, I love this. What an incredible lady she must be, and you for reaching out. A Red Sox fan too? Nice.

You should give her a copy of that story...

Anonymous said...

Well, if she is an alarm clock, a Sox fan and a good friend, what more could you ask for in life?! Neat story.

Corey~living and loving said...

What a wonderful post. It touched my heart. :) thank you!

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

I love stories like these. I hope she gets to read this someday!

kim-d said...

I just had to come by and say hi, Amy JEAN Kelly. And I want you to know how much I love your comments. Joanie isn't the only one you're a good friend to :)! And Lisa is too a good friend--I think she is. And Mary? I love Mary so much, too. The three of you? In my book, simply the best. Seriously.

Trixie Twatwaffle said...

I adore this story. Adore it.

Your writing makes a wonderful story absolutely amazing.

Joanne@ Blessed... said...

Amy,

This story just touched my heart.

Can she be my friend too?!?

Zoe said...

amy you and your sisters are so freakin sweet it is just amazing! joanie is so lucky!

Our Crooked Tree said...

Nicely done; the post, the call, all of it! You are a fabulous person!

Alice said...

Wow! Beautiful post!!